Clinton's Thoughts on Our Marriage

What leisure activities do you share with your spouse and family? 

I probably enjoy traveling the most. I always hate the getting there part (the long drives, sitting in a cramped plane), but I always enjoy myself once we get wherever we're going. I would love to be able to take a big group of my family to Europe!

Danielle and I also enjoy exercising together. We have an exercise bike and a weight set at our house, so we usually exercise at the same time. We keep each other motivated!

How do you express love and affection? 

Danielle would be the first person to say that I like to bug the people that I love most! Nothing mean, of course, just like to mildly pester and be around them.

But, usually, I just enjoy sitting and talking with the people I love the most. Danielle and I are often the people that sit in the Subway or the McDonald's way too long as we chat about work, school, or family.

What are the strengths and challenges of your marriage? 

I would say that our strengths are that we're still each other's best friend. We enjoy being around each other and spending time together. I've seen many couples spend most of their time fighting when they're together, but I'm happy to say that we're one of the few couples that I know that spends a lot of time together and can still resolve our differences in a very upbeat way.

The biggest challenge to our marriage has been our inability to have kids. When we were first married, it didn't take Danielle long to want to start our family. I didn't feel quite ready at the time; I instead wanted to begin my schooling. Over time as we began trying to have children, it became more and more of a difficulty for us to talk about children. Danielle was desperate to have kids, while I was a lot more relaxed about the idea. It created some tension between Danielle and her sisters as her sisters seemed able to have children within a few weeks or trying, while we were not able to. The experience caused Danielle to emotionally separate herself not only from her family, but also from me somewhat. However, now that I've started to feel the desire to start our family, I think this has become something that has brought us together more than it has pulled us apart.

How do you resolve disagreements? What do you do? What does your spouse do? 

Typically when Danielle and I disagree, I'm the type that makes my point while still trying to remain upbeat. In fact, I remember once that I told Danielle that we couldn't argue unless we were able to smile doing it! Eventually, we were able to see that some of our arguments seemed a bit petty, but it also made us see that we don't need to be angry or condescending to make our point known. Now, we each make our point, listen to the other's viewpoint, and come to a compromise. There are times, however, when neither of us can agree (something that occurred a couple of weeks ago), and at that point, we simply agree to drop the issue and to try to act normal again. Usually, this works!

Danielle's Questionnaire

Background Information

Describe your personality, strengths, and weaknesses: 

I would describe my personality as caring, nurturing, cheerful and optimistic. I try everyday to make the lives of those around me a little bit better.

Sometimes that means I need to share a funny quote or joke I've heard to help someone smile. Other times I find myself writing a note or making a phone call to let people know I'm thinking of them. I'm not afraid to step outside of my "comfort zone" to make someone new or alone feel welcomed or noticed. I also try my best to give people the benefit of the doubt. No one is perfect and thinking of others in a positive way helps me keep things in perspective. I think one of my biggest strengths is my faith. The trials I have experienced in this life have led me to trust that God truly knows what is best for me. I know that even if I don't understand why I am asked to experience a particular trial, God can help me get through it. 

I think some of my other strengths are compassion, empathy and integrity. I know who I have the potential to become and I know that others possess those same divine attributes. We each have times when we need a good friend or confidant and I feel like I have been blessed to know when I can be that kind of help to those around me. 

As far as my weaknesses, I know that patience is something that I am constantly working on. Through the loving help and endless patience of my husband, I feel like I have already come a long way. I have come to realize that things don't have to run smoothly or look perfect, to still have a happy life. These realizations are making room for me to continue to improve and focus on the things that really matter--like a happy family and service to others. 

Describe your hopes, goals, and aspirations: 

I hope to be a mom someday who raises her kids in a happy and laughter-filled home. I've always wanted to be a mom. I can't tell you how many times I pretended to be pregnant and have babies when I played house as a little girl. I loved each of my baby dolls and thought of them as my very own. I hope one day to be able to feel that love for real with our own real children. :) 

A personal goal of mine is to finish my schooling. I have been blessed with great jobs that have allowed me to support my husband while he has been in school, but I would really love to complete my degrees someday. There are two fields I would like to pursue, both of which I already have some schooling completed. When I can, I'd like to go back to beauty school to complete my training and get my license so I can really expand my skills and clientele. I'm

blessed to be able to cut, color and style hair on the side, but my goal is to one day run a full-service salon out of my home. I'd also like to become a music therapist someday. I studied music therapy my senior year of high school and took a few semesters of music major courses in college. This is something I'd like to pursue once my children are grown and I can dedicate myself to the program full-time. Music is such a powerful healing tool and I'd love to share my love of it with those who are in need.

Describe your spouse's personality, strengths, and weaknesses: 

Clinton is a real character! He has a wonderful ability to make any situation a happy one. There is not a day that goes by that he doesn't have me laughing.

He promised me when we were engaged that he would make me laugh everyday, and he has held true to that promise! I love how happy he is and I love his sense of humor! 

Clinton's strengths are many. I would definitely include his happy personality as one of his strengths. It has provided comfort during stressful times and relief from hurt or sadness. Another of Clinton's strengths is his ability to argue from both sides. He is very good at listening to and understanding both sides of an argument or situation. I'll often times turn to him for help in understanding someone because I know he'll be able to help me see/understand what I couldn't before.

This leads me into another strength--Clinton is accepting of all people in all types of situations. He is not afraid to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger, sit beside someone who is alone or offer a hand of help. I love that about him! He does not judge others but sees them as another person probably just trying their best to do what they believe is right. 

If I must list a weakness for my husband, I guess I could say his ability to be logical at times could be considered a weakness. Sometimes I just want him to listen to me and validate my feelings but he sees it as an opportunity to solve my problems. I know he means well, but sometimes a girl just needs to let it all out and be told that everything will be ok. We've discussed this together and I know it is something he is working on.