Danielle's Experiences and Feelings Regarding Birth Parents

Describe your feelings about birth parents: 

I am so grateful for them and their willingness to give their child to a couple who is unable to have children on their own. It amazes me that someone so young can be so strong and mature in placing their child for adoption. I can't imagine the pain they must suffer and the anguish of letting go of their baby.

Birth parents are literally everything to me, because without them I wouldn't be able to have children at all. I don't even know who they are yet, but I pray for them that they can be strong, that they can feel comforted and know that they are so loved by a couple they don't even know. I truly love them and will love them forever for blessing me with my family.

How do you feel about meeting the birth parents and exchanging gifts, letters and pictures? 

I have no level of discomfort or restraint when it comes to meeting the birth parents, exchanging gifts, letters or pictures. I think the relationship we have with the birth parents is absolutely vital and if it requires meeting before the birth--I'd actually prefer it. I want to meet them and have them meet us so that they can know who we are, so they can feel excited to know that their child will be placed with such a good couple. I am more than happy to exchange letters and pictures. If I were in their situation, I would expect the same. I would like to leave it up to the birth parents to decide how often we meet in person after placement as well as how often they would like to receive updates and photos. I will forever be in debt to them for their sacrifice, so taking time to write letters and send pictures is the least I can do.

Can you love and be loved by a child born to someone else?

Of course!!! Before my brother adopted his first child, my family worried that we would not be able to love this child as much as we did the other biological grandkids. However, when Hannah came off that plane and we saw the smiles on my brother's and his wife's face--it was true love at first sight! She was as much a member of our family as any of the other kids and still is. We all love her so much and she loves us back. Hannah knows she is adopted but knows we are her family. She loves her cousins, Grammy and Papa and aunts and uncles. She and I love to read together and play with trains.

I have come to realize that it doesn't matter how the child comes into my family, but that the child has come into my family because it belongs in my family.