Showing posts with label Clinton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Clinton. Show all posts

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Clinton's Thoughts on Our Marriage

What leisure activities do you share with your spouse and family? 
I probably enjoy traveling the most. I always hate the getting there part (the long drives, sitting in a cramped plane), but I always enjoy myself once we get wherever we're going. I would love to be able to take a big group of my family to Europe!
Danielle and I also enjoy exercising together. We have an exercise bike and a weight set at our house, so we usually exercise at the same time. We keep each other motivated!

How do you express love and affection? 
Danielle would be the first person to say that I like to bug the people that I love most! Nothing mean, of course, just like to mildly pester and be around them.
But, usually, I just enjoy sitting and talking with the people I love the most. Danielle and I are often the people that sit in the Subway or the McDonald's way too long as we chat about work, school, or family.

What are the strengths and challenges of your marriage? 
I would say that our strengths are that we're still each other's best friend. We enjoy being around each other and spending time together. I've seen many couples spend most of their time fighting when they're together, but I'm happy to say that we're one of the few couples that I know that spends a lot of time together and can still resolve our differences in a very upbeat way.
The biggest challenge to our marriage has been our inability to have kids. When we were first married, it didn't take Danielle long to want to start our family. I didn't feel quite ready at the time; I instead wanted to begin my schooling. Over time as we began trying to have children, it became more and more of a difficulty for us to talk about children. Danielle was desperate to have kids, while I was a lot more relaxed about the idea. It created some tension between Danielle and her sisters as her sisters seemed able to have children within a few weeks or trying, while we were not able to. The experience caused Danielle to emotionally separate herself not only from her family, but also from me somewhat. However, now that I've started to feel the desire to start our family, I think this has become something that has brought us together more than it has pulled us apart.

How do you resolve disagreements? What do you do? What does your spouse do? 
Typically when Danielle and I disagree, I'm the type that makes my point while still trying to remain upbeat. In fact, I remember once that I told Danielle that we couldn't argue unless we were able to smile doing it! Eventually, we were able to see that some of our arguments seemed a bit petty, but it also made us see that we don't need to be angry or condescending to make our point known. Now, we each make our point, listen to the other's viewpoint, and come to a compromise. There are times, however, when neither of us can agree (something that occurred a couple of weeks ago), and at that point, we simply agree to drop the issue and to try to act normal again. Usually, this works!

Clinton's Questionnaire

Background Information

Describe your personality, strengths, and weaknesses: 
I might be one of the few people in the world that actually likes my personality. Prior to my mission for the LDS church, I was somewhat introverted, I didn't really like opening up and talking to people that I didn't really know. On my mission, however, we were required to do at least 20 hours of door-knocking a week. By doing this, I was able to adapt better to talking to people whom I had just met. Now, I feel like I'm much more outgoing and I like talking to people about pretty much anything.
Secondly, I love to make people laugh. I have frequently been told that I should forget medicine and go into comedy. Even when I was a kid telling my totally lame jokes to friends on the playground, I remember that I felt happy when people around me could laugh along with me. Even today when I'm interviewing patients at the clinic, I always feel like if I can make them laugh just a little, then maybe they'll see that we're both regular people and that they can feel safe trusting in me.

I feel like my greatest strength is my ability to put myself in other people's shoes. Growing up with some fairly emotional older sisters, I often saw that their battles with friends or teachers were always based on some sort of silly misunderstanding. I also see that so much political and religious debate is based on little misunderstandings between people. I feel like the best way to avoid those misunderstandings is to try to relate to the other person's perspective, and try to argue in their favor instead of trying to argue against them. I've always felt that if you can't understand your enemy's perspective, then you are likely the one who needs to apologize.

My greatest weakness is probably related to what I've listed as my strength. There have been times when Danielle has come to me with problems she's having at work or when someone has said something hurtful or insensitive and instead of being the support I should be, I instead try to argue for what the other person was likely intending. As you might imagine, this doesn't always make Danielle very happy. As we've gone on in our marriage, I've been trying more and more to see that when people come to me with their frustrations, they're not always looking for solutions-- they may just want someone to listen. But, I am trying to overcome that inclination.

Describe your hopes, goals, and aspirations: One of my first goals relates to my career. I remember when I was in a biology class in high school, we had a government-issued exam that every high school student is required to do. Our teacher also took the exam every year so that he could make sure he was teaching us everything that we needed to know to do well on the exam. About a week following that exam, he announced that I did very well and then came down from his desk to personally shake my hand in front of the entire class. I remember how special he made me feel by doing that. I asked him later if he thought I should pursue medicine, to which he replied, "I think you could do anything you wanted!" From that point on, I decided that I wanted to become a doctor and to help people with something so basic as their health.
Another goal I have is to have a family. Now being 30 years old (which is so surprising to me-- I still feel like I just turned 20), Danielle and I have watched many of our friends start having children and changing their lives to accommodate those children. Although I had never set a time in my life to start having kids, I couldn't imagine being in my 40s and 50s and never experiencing the joy of having kids in my life. Although I hate using the term "biological clock", I think that I have noticed lately that our family feels like it is missing a few people.
Two more goals I've had are: 1) to get my pilot's license-- I've always dreamed of flying, and 2) to teach high school physics-- I don't know why, but I love teaching, especially something as cool as physics!

Describe your spouse's personality, strengths, and weaknesses:
Danielle is the type of girl who is basically unwavering. She is the type of person who wants to help other people regardless of who they are or how well she knows them. One example of this was on a flight we were on from Milwaukee to Minneapolis last summer. There was a woman who was covered in tattoos with two kids, one a toddler and the other a small baby. As we boarded the plane, the woman was struggling to get her children in their seats. She was holding up the line of people trying to board the plane, and you could start to hear people moan and groan behind her as they began to complain that she was delaying everyone. Instead of adding to the complaints or just ignoring the situation, Danielle gave me her carry-on bags and immediately went to help the woman with her children. She helped put the baby's diaper bag in the overhead bin and then held the baby as the woman tended to her toddler. I don't think anyone else on the plane really cared about what Danielle had done, but I was impressed. To me, Christ's entire message could quickly be summarized in two words: "Be nice." On that day, she didn't just join with everyone else in complaining about the minor inconvenience that this lady presented, instead she became part of the solution and helped the woman no matter who she was or whether or not she was invited to help.
So, in short, I think that Danielle's greatest strength is charity. Ever since we've been married, Danielle has longed to have children. In the early years of our marriage, I was fairly hesitant to have children. I instead desired more to start my career and get well-established in life before bringing kids into the mix, but she knew better.
Danielle's greatest weakness was probably her fear of confrontation. When Danielle would visit her sibling's homes who were already married, she sometimes would hear them disagree and it would lead her to think that something was wrong with their relationship. Since being married, though, Danielle and I have both learned that it is perfectly normal for couples to disagree and that some of the tiniest disagreements can turn into some of the most ridiculous arguments. Luckily, we learned early in our marriage that being married does not imply that everything will be perfect, but rather that marriage is all about compromise and trying to do what is best for both of you rather than always getting your way.

Photo Album

Married August 2003, Portland, Oregon
                                      
Tulip Festival, Oregon 2006
Clinton's Surprise Airplane Ride, Wisconsin 2011
Peter and Danielle Enjoying a Walk on a Warm Spring Day, Wisconsin 2011
 Valentine's Day, Dinner at Meritage, Wisconsin 2012
 Clinton's 30th Birthday Surprise Party
 Out Enjoying Dinner with Friends at Buffalo Wild Wings, Clinton loves the wings and I love their black bean burger.  Mmm! Wisconsin 2011
 Paddle Boating on Lake Michigan, Wisconsin 2012
On our way down to Disney World...it was WAY early in the morning, but we were super excited to go!!  2012

 EPCOT, Florida 2012
 The sunset in EPCOT was so beautiful!!
 Navy Pier Ferris Wheel, Chicago 2011 (it was FREEZING!)
 Clear Water, Florida 2012
 Magic Kingdom, Florida 2012
Ferry Ride to the Magic Kingdom, Florida 2012 
 Chair lift at the Wisconsin State Fair, 2012...well worth the $4!
 Chicago Botanical Gardens, 8th Anniversary Trip, 2011
 My 28th B-day celebration with friends at Red Robin, 2012
 Millenium Park, Chicago 2012
 Just a quick pic before I left on a quick trip back home to see my family.  I was only gone for a couple days, but I had to have something to look at of us together while I was away. :) 2010
 Isn't he adorable?  We love him to pieces! 
 Clinton's White Coat Ceremony, 1st year of Med School, 2009
 Our "Family Photo" for our Christmas card, Door County, Wisconsin 2009
 Light House on the Peninsula, Door County, 2009
 Canada Day in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada 2010 (I was wearing Canadian gear under the sweater...trust me!)
 My first taste of Poutine (french fries, cheese curds and gravy).  Sounds disgusting, but it was soooo good!! Quebec, Canada 2010
 Gatineau Park, Quebec 2010
 Clinton's Grandma and Us, Alberta, Canada, Christmas 2010

Clinton's Family

Describe your parents including education, occupation, personality, interests, etc.: 
My father graduated high school at the same school that I graduated from. In fact, we even had some of the same teachers (it's a very, very small town!) He went to a Catholic school in Edmonton, Alberta called St. Anthony's College for a while. During and shortly after high school, he began working as a manual laborer on oil drilling rigs (oil drilling is a major industry in Alberta, Canada). He has done this his entire life and is now a shift manager. As a manager of some of the wildest guys you'll ever meet, you would think that my dad would be incredibly loud and rude, but he's actually quite a softie. When I announced that I was going to get married, I remember that he began crying (and, of course, trying to hide it). He's the type that tries to pretend like he's a big strong guy, but in reality, he's like most people.
His interests include a lot of fishing and hunting, being our family mechanic, the family carpenter, and playing with his grandkids.

My mother graduated from high school and soon began raising her family after getting married. She had four kids (I was the last) and while I was growing up, she sacrificed a lot of her free time to attend nursing school. She worked hard and got excellent grades, good enough that her student loans were forgiven!
She's a hard worker and still works as a nurse today. She has been offered administrative positions, but she would rather work directly with patients instead of trying to be the boss of other nurses. Her interests include going camping, sewing, gardening, and spending a lot of time with her grandkids. Her biggest weakness, though, is her desire to constantly have a clean house. When we go over there during Christmas vacation, it seems like all of our time with her is spent in the kitchen watching her bake and clean, meanwhile I keep on trying to tell her that she needs to sit down and let other people do the work, but she never seems to listen.

Explain your parents' methods of discipline: 
My dad was often away working on oil rigs, leaving my mum to do a lot of the disciplining. She later told me that I was incredibly easy to raise, so I really don't remember getting much discipline from her. Whenever I was needing to be set straight, though, I remember that she would simply tell me that I should have known better and she expressed her disappointment in my decisions. That was usually enough to make me realize that it didn't feel good to disappoint the only people in my life who loved me unconditionally, and so I would try to change.
In other words, they were never harsh, but you knew it when you did something wrong. This allowed me a lot of freedom as a kid, and I think that has made me a better and more responsible person for it.

What is your present relationship with your parents and siblings? 
I frequently call my parents and we try to take a trip to see them at least once a year. My relationship with my family is quite open, and I've talked to my parents about pretty much anything and everything. With my sisters, I often chat with them online, but I would say that I'm especially close to the youngest of my sisters, since she's closer in age to me. We had many of the same friends and she was the one that introduced me to the Church, so we tend to have a lot in common and often have similar thinking.

Relate any special experiences or memories: 
One of my favorite experiences as a kid was one time when we were camping. It was a warm day and dad had taken the older kids down to the creek to go fishing, but I stayed behind with my mum at the campsite (I was pretty young at the time). We laid out on a blanket on the ground and just stared up at the sky and talked. I don't remember at all what we talked about, but I remember how I felt like my mum was my friend and that I somehow was now her favorite kid! That taught me that kids don't care much about the amount of presents or money that you give to them, they're much more interested in you being interested in them.
Share any traumatic events that have impacted your life: When I was 18 and preparing for my mission, I moved to a nearby city with some friends. We lived in the river valley at the bottom of a huge hill in the middle of Edmonton. When I was coming home from work one summer afternoon, I had just gotten off the bus and I was walking along a busy street towards home. I noticed a girl on the other side of the street coming fast down the hill on her bike. For some reason, she suddenly flipped over the bike and landed hard on her face. I sat there stunned for a second thinking, "She's probably okay, she'll probably get up." But she didn't. Not having a clue what to do, I put my hands out to stop the busy traffic. The cars slowed and let me through, and I ran over to the girl lying on the hot sidewalk. Still having no clue what to do, I saw a women peek around the corner and I yelled for her to call an ambulance. I knelt by the girl and tried to speak calmly (while panicking inside my own mind). Luckily, a nurse saw me kneeling there and stopped, and soon a police officer stopped and radioed for an ambulance.
I have never forgotten that day because that was when I knew that I wanted to be the person that could help in a situation like that. That experience reconfirmed to me that the best way to help other people is to learn how to take care of people's health. I think that one five minute incident probably impacted my life more than any other.

List significant activities, group involvements, or accomplishments during your years of education: 
I've always tried hard to get good grades in university and now in medical school, but my absolute favorite thing that I've ever done is teach. I tutored a lot in university because I loved it. I found it really rewarding when the students who were struggling in the main class would come to my tutor workshop and then suddenly understand the complex principles being taught in the lectures. In fact, after one semester, the students wrote reviews on my and submitted them to the professor. I was allowed to see those reviews later and I remember one of the questions reading, "If your tutor could do one thing, what would it be?" to which the student wrote, "Be a chemistry professor." That made me feel really good!

Clinton's Experiences and Feelings Regarding Adoption

How do you think adopting a child will change your life? 
Since we currently have no children, I think that adopting a child will change our lives in much the same way that any first-time parents have their lives changed by a new addition to the family. It will mean much more responsibility and much more planning of date nights but (of course) I think that it will all be worth it to be able to raise our own children and to experience parenthood first-hand.

What does your extended family think about your adoption plans? 
My family is very supportive of our plan to adopt. My mother used to continually ask when we were going to have children, and now that she knows that we will be adopting, she constantly asks what is taking so long. Furthermore, I have an older sister that is trying to adopt through the provincial government in Alberta, Canada, so my family has been quite supportive of the idea.

How do you plan to discuss adoption with your children? 
I've actually thought about this question a lot, especially lately as the reality of adoption has become closer. I think that the best way to discuss the issue would be to inform the child very early in his/her life so that it is not something that we have to inform them of all at once. Furthermore, I think it would be important to emphasize that we (his/her adopted parents) waited a long time to finally become parents and to express the huge blessing that he/she is to us. It would also be important to let him/her know that his/her birthmother loved him/her enough to see that she couldn't take care of him/her in a way that she wanted, so she allowed us to take care of him/her instead.

How would you feel if your child wanted to meet his or her birth parents? 
Depending on how old the child is and their reasoning for wanting to meet his/her birth parents, I would be quite supportive of the idea. I wouldn't want the child to think that we are trying to sequester him/her away from his/her "real family", but rather that the child can know more whenever he or she feels ready.

Clinton's Experiences and Feelings Regarding Birth Parents


Describe your feelings about birth parents: 
Being a birth parent and giving your child up must be incredibly hard to do. Hoping that the people you entrust your child with are good and honest people must also be an unimaginable experience. Obviously, the birth parents must have a lot of faith and trust that they're doing the right thing in order to go through with something that must be so difficult.

How do you feel about meeting the birth parents and exchanging gifts, letters and pictures? 
I have no problem with this idea. I think it would be important to both the child and the birth parent(s) to satisfy their curiosity and to allow both the child and the birth parent(s) to not feel excluded from the other's life.

Can you love and be loved by a child born to someone else? 
I have a difficult time understanding why a person would feel that a child entrusted to them through adoption is any different than a child born to them.
Although I have not been a parent yet, I cannot see why I would feel any less love towards an adopted child rather than a biological child.

Clinton's Parenting Methods & Skills


Describe your methods to teach and discipline children: 
I was the youngest child in my family and never grew up around many children smaller than me. Once my sisters began having children, however, I was often required to help take care of them. In trying to teach children, I usually find that you have to be very flexible and willing to quickly find alternate ways to teach. I especially found this while being a primary teacher at church after my mission, typically the children didn't want to sit there and listen to me as I wrote words up on the board. I found that the best way to learn was to have puppet shows, act out stories from the scriptures, and other such tools. When it came to discipline, I found that the best method was to offer small rewards to the group for good behavior. I started out offering candy to individuals for good behavior, but I soon found that when a child misbehaved, they would end up crying if they were the only one to not get candy at the ends of class. Instead, I would reward the entire class as a whole for good behavior. In doing this, I found that the children would regulate each other rather than being singled out for poor behavior. This usually resulted in a much happier experience for me as a primary teacher!

What is your plan for childcare? 
Before long I will be able to finally begin my career as a physician and to work full-time. This will allow me to bring enough salary home that Danielle will be able to stay at home with the children. This is something that is important to both of us because we were both raised by stay-at-home moms and we both saw the value of being able to have a close family member taking care of you rather than a stranger paid to take care of you.